How to give people unsolicited advice they’d be happy to take
The four questions to ask yourself prior to giving it! (You’ll thank yourself — or not)
Giving advice is an act of kindness, right? Sometimes you look at a certain person, and you feel like there’s something that can be improved a little bit about that person or the situation they’re going through. It would also be nice to know that you were right and somehow could contribute in solving their problems. But what if your unsolicited advice isn’t good for them? At least you have conveyed it well, by considering these four questions below before giving them your unsolicited advice.
- How can you make sure that your unsolicited advice is the best one for them at the moment? To what extent?
- Do you think other people have already told them the same/similar unsolicited advice?
- Have their feelings and past experiences already been taken in your consideration before you advising it? Have you put yourself in their shoes regarding the situation?
- If they happen to ask for further help regarding your unsolicited advice — would you, by any chance, provide continued support and resources than just an unsolicited advice for them?
If any of these four above are missing, It is most likely that they would appreciate your silence more than your unsolicited advice!
Now, assume that you and your unsolicited advice have met all the four points. Then what?
Politely ask for permission, like, “may I offer a tip on …?” “I’d love to show you how …, do you mind?” etc etc. By asking for permission, you’ve let them make their own choice in the conversation as they can feel whether you know them that well.
OHHH BY THE WAY,
You don’t have to follow my advice either.
Love always,
Lucy van Pelt
